Thursday, July 16, 2009

An American woman's opinion on Egyptian's women's rights

I am an American woman married to an Egyptian man and living in Egypt. I answer some questions about women's rights in Egypt that were posed to me by an Egyptian journalist.

1. How did you see the Egyptian women's rights?

I think in general Egypt is about 20 years behind the rest of the world - namely the United States. With regards to women - it's 50 years behind the times. While I think women in Egypt have a long way to go to get to where western women are, they are still far better off than women in other Islamic countries. Egyptian women can drive, go out by themselves, work, and dress the way they want (even choosing not to wear hijab if they desire). However, Egyptian women still lack a very important right - freedom. They are bound by cultural traditions. For example, a girl who is 20 cannot go out and get her own apartment even is she has a job. Most families would forbid their daughter from doing this. She is therefore, not allowed to become self-reliant but must bide her time until she can be appropriately married at which time she goes to her husband's house. In her husband's home she may gain a certain freedom she lacked in her family home, but this often comes at the high price of sacrificing her career in lieu of having children and being a wife. Even though they might not admit it, this practice over time, wears away at a woman's self-esteem. She is never really free to discover who she is and what her role in this world is. She simply become a caretaker for others while her own hopes and dreams may end up being neglected. Many Egyptian women have become passive that this is their assigned lot in life and feel there is not much they can do about it. The more religious her husband - the worse it is for her. If she was unveiled before marriage, she may suddenly be faced with tremendous pressure from he husband to veil.

However, as an American, I can say that this problem of lack of rights and lack of freedom is not only limited to women in Egypt. In my opinion, Egyptian men have limited rights and freedom as well. First of all it is difficult for them to get visas to travel, difficult to find a job and what job they might find may pay very low. This begins the cycle of making it impossible for him to save the enormous sums of money necessary to get married. The men as well face tremendous pressure from families to live at home until marriage, to marry a girl of their choice, etc. Egyptian men are not encouraged to learn independence and self-reliance either. Then they get married and have no idea how to treat their wife, other than the examples they see set forth by society and culture.

2. Did you find it close to your expectations..or less or worse??

I can't say I had any expectations. I've had an interest in sociology since I was a teenager and I also grew up in a multicultural environment so I already had a great deal of exposure to other cultures and things that were going on in the world.

3. What was the most astonishing thing to you ? or weird or surprising wether in a good or bad way

Well, I made many Egyptian friends online before moving here. I was really pleased to see so many Egyptian women freely speaking their minds. When I first visited Egypt, I was happy to see a new generation (mostly 20 somethings) of Egyptian men and women who were pushing the envelope (so to speak) on the cultural practices and traditions of their parents generation. They hung out together in coffee shops, went on dates with their boyfriends, didn't wear hijab, and most importantly - didn't care what other people thought of them for doing so.

4. How do you see the veil? as we've different kinds of veils such as "hejab" and the whole black veil "away from religion..from a social perspective"

I will probably have many people in Egypt hating me for saying this, but I don't believe the "veil" (even hijab) is required by God. I see it as a fashion statement in Egypt and a cultural practice in Gulf countries perpetuated by uptight sexually frustrated men. I see the entire concept as oppressive for women, However, I can understand how women feel it gives them more freedom. In Egypt, where a large percentage of men harass women on a daily basis - the veil can in fact, make them feel protected. Like a security blanket. It just makes me sick that the women have to take responsibility and cover and the men and boys don't take responsibility for their actions and learn how to respect women.

5. What's so common between women in your country and women in Egypt?

That is a difficult question to answer, because in the end we are all more similar than are led to believe. An expression comes to mind: "We all put our pants on one leg at a time." Unfortunately, it is easier for me to point out what is different between Egyptian and American women.

6. How can women take their rights in Egypt in your opinion? what do they need? what do they miss?

Like I said before, Egypt is decades behind the times. It can take decades more for things to begin to change and for any progress to be made in this area. I don't think it's a matter of women taking to the streets and protesting. I think what needs to change first is the cultural attitude that began to take hold in the late 1970's. The movement that confused culture and religion. It is my belief that this is what caused the standstill in progress with regard to women's rights. In fact, this movement may have caused things to begin to move backward. One only has to watch old black and white Egyptian movies to see how different Egypt has become. What needs to happen in order to move forward with women's rights is for the attitudes of men to change. Boys need to learn to respect women and see them as equals. Egyptian society must let go some of the taboos and stifling traditions with regards to sex and marriage and encourage young boys and girls to become independent and self-sufficient. To allow them to grow into productive adults free to make their own choices of right and wrong and decide their own level of morality on the inside - instead of through outward symbols such as hijab.

7. What are the negatives of women's rights movements in your country?

Women's suffrage movements started centuries ago in the States. Even the last wave in the 1950's and 1960's happened before I was born. I was born into a society that placed very few limitations of women - so to me, I never knew anything different. My own personal experiences leave me with nothing to compare before and after to because the way things are for in the US today was always a reality for me. However, many studies have been done that there is a breakdown in the family unit with women in the workplace leaving their children in daycare to be raised by someone else. In the US when a woman has a baby, she is expected to return to work after 6 weeks. It is true that many working mothers are spending less than 2 hours a day with their babies and children.

38 comments:

  1. If you could please send me an email.I am talking to an Egyptian man online,for about a year now.I really feel that I love him.I want to meet him,and we have talked about living/being together.I would like to know more about Cairo and the ways of people there toward American women. my email is kimburrel26@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello,I am an american married to aHello,I am an american marriedn egyptian man.I now live in Alexandria,Egypt.I really miss the states and he does not seem to understand my life before.I love him very much,but it is very hard for me to live here.I have realized I have taken things for granted and now I realized I had everything before.I cannot work due to his tradition.My job is to cook and clean,basically homemaker.He does all the grocery shopping,he never allows me to go.It is a reward for me to go out maybe 0nce a week.Take in mind before I had met him I was a very independent person with alot of friends and I would go shopping and traveling.He is very very jealous,in his mind he thinks that all men will look at me.This is crazy.I cannot go to the beach ,because I will not cover my body to go swimming,this is not how I was raised.I want to go home but he will not allow me.He will not divorce me,I am stuck with having to sneak out the country,but I know he will catch me and then comes the punmishment.I just do not know what to do?So.to kimburrel,if I were you let him come to you,you can get a fiance visa for him to come to the U.S.A.My husband was the same sweet,loving and caring,but changed when I came to him.I love him ,but I do not like his jealousy and his ways.There is one thing I can say that he has not try to convert me to be muslim,to which I am christian and he is muslim.There is soo much I want to talk about...Ijust do not know where to begin...Ijust need someone who can understand where I am coming from.ty.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The only ones who can understand are other people in your same situation. In my case I was also independent which is the one reason I hate living in Egypt. I am lucky that I have a husband who is not jealous like yours - but he does make it clear that there are lines that can't be crossed in Egypt. In the States he would not care if I walk around in a bikini, but I can't do this in Egypt. I know it must be hard not to be able to go out by yourself. I am lucky in this also. I go out by myself - ride the metro, take taxis, go downtown and meet my friends... but I know some women who are in your position. You become a prisoner in your home and that life is fine for someone who was raised that way but not for the lifestyle American women have. American women are not taught to tolerate such things from a man and are even taught that it borders on emotional abuse.

    Even if you have an open minded husband who does not restrict you living in Egypt is not fun and games and is, in my experience, very stressful. Grocery shopping is difficult, running small errands becomes a major all day affair, no one keeps a word or comes on time, etc.

    I can totally relate to the not being able to live in Egypt part. I get contacted by so many American women who are ready to give up everything and move to Egypt and I always try my best to talk them out of it especially if they have kids. In my case I moved to Egypt because I thought I could get a job teaching and not because of a man or marriage. That part came later for me. But I always tell people don't come here unless you have a fantastic job with great benefits lined up. Don't come here to live as a happily married couple. Even with the best relationship living here can be anything from difficult to pure hell.

    Too many men change after marriage as you have pointed out. More women need to read your comment and seriously think about what they are giving up when they move to Egypt for a man. The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.

    ReplyDelete
  4. To Anonymous married to an Egyptian man who won't let you leave: If at all possible, go to an American Embassy,and tell them your story and that you definitely want to leave.They may help you if you convince them you're determined to leave Egypt. good luck and god Bless!

    ReplyDelete
  5. My suggestion to any woman planning on marrying an Egyptian man and living in Egypt is to go "Visit" first with a round trip ticket, stay a little longer than you normally would to get a good feel of it.Although right now is not the time for an American woman to go there but hopefully sometime in the future things will improve.Be sure and register with the American Embassy about your visit. Meet his family get to know their ways. Learn some Arabic before you go so you know what they are talking about.
    To Anonymous: There are laws in Egypt that he "cannot" hold you against your will. I agree with the last comment find an American Embassy tell them your story. Be careful, Good Luck, you are in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am in an internet relationship with an egyptian man. we have been talking for almost 2 years and he wishes to come to Canada. when we first started to talk I caught him in a couple of lies but I do believe that he is honest with me now. he is online with me almost every single day. he has had his mom, brothers, sister-in-law, uncle, cousins, and some friends on cam with me as well. he has not asked me to sponsor him and is working hard within the company that he works for to get a promotion and come here through their office. if I just trusted my heart I wouldnt think twice about being with him but I read so many negative comments about relationships like ours that I have a hard time getting beyond our differences and truly believing in him. I have been trying to find information about rules I need to follow if I go there to meet him and I am having little success for the stuff I really need to know such as accommodations, can I stay in his apartment? I see pictures of egyptian women wearing regular clothes but I read we should be fully covered what is acceptable? any help greatly accepted

    ReplyDelete
  7. i have been talking to a very nice man fromm egypt hes been honest and very sweet and sexual! he wants me to visit for a while then come to the states with me said we can go to the us embassey so he could work here and spend time together!we spend 4 hours talking he even goes to net cafes to talk we have a 6 hour difference! but its every day for hours i dont think anyone would spend that much time if they didnt care!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. hi all my name is megg... i have been online searching and searching for more information on the egyptian man... I am 23 and live in the United States. About a month ago i met a beautiful egyptian man who is in an Major in the Air Force. He is currently in the US and is traveling between here (Texas) & Alabama to become a instructor. So he will basically be going back to his country to teach other how to fly. He has been in the military for over ten years.
    We have gone a multiple dates and he seems to really enjoy spending time with me. I am quick to think of the future and what if... so then i begin to worries because all of my friends say that he is a man from the middle east so this isnt a good idea... any advice...

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm a twenty something and have been dating an Egyptian for over a year. He was brought over to the States around 16 and has been living here since. I am very lucky to be with him and we have already decided on marriage after he graduates college. My concerns are being restricted in Egypt as an American Christian woman. I've said I'd have to spend some time there to be able to agree on living there, I'm just afraid of being restricted. I'd love to hear from any American women who live/ed there for a period of time. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  10. very confused.
    i am an american woman married for 12 years, have three girls youngest is 12. i have met an egyptian man on the net an have fallen in love with him over the last 5 months. he seems like the perfect loving,complamening person one problem is, he's 26 and im 47 and i have a daughter that is 13 days older then him. I feel very ill with this condition but my heart has taken control. My husband has recently found out and still loves me enough to work things out even though i'm not willing to give my egyptian man up yet. please tell me if u think this is all worth the heartache that i have caused my family. i really must know. my egyptian has promised me so much and has told me that he wants to spoil me. Is this just a normal trick or is it true love on his side. what should i do ? my husband and i have a home that we have built over the last 8 years to suit my likings i have everything now a woman could ask for and i basically want to through it away. when i talk or skype my egyptian man he usually ends up crying because he wants me so bad and cant live without me. Do these men always easily cry ? The only thing is he always says he needs me instead of he wants me and to him he doesnt see the diffence but i of course do. please tell me someone what i should do. i feel i have already ruined my marriage he will never trust me. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you are done with this "Fantasy"...... I have been to Egypt 5 times and ended up meeting my husband there. They are all good salesmen and well tell you anything!!!!! DO NOT give up your marriage for this..... they are poor village men that use American women for money,etc.... I know from experience. Don't be stupid. My husband has been here for a few years and is very lazy...... I feel used and cheated and fell for the shit you're talking about. Stay with you husband and forget this- it's a bunch of lies...... I hope you are already past this.

      Delete
    2. This man is no good for you. You are his prisoner. And the punishment, do you mean he hits you? You must make a plan and leave.
      You can do this. Start with the embassy but do not let this man continue to abuse you and act like he owns you. Get a divorce asap.
      Good luck!

      Delete
    3. believe me, do not leave your husband for this fast talking egygptian. You will rue the day you left a normal marriage for the confining marriage of an egytian. Wake up and smell the coffee.

      Delete
  11. Dear very confused,
    Snap out of it. If you come to Egypt and spend a month with this KID, you will quickly see your mistake. You have a family. You should not be thinking about leaving your husband and children at all, let alone to be with someone you've only known on the internet, and is from a COMPLETELY different culture!

    I hate to tell you this, but whenever we see a younger man with an older foreign woman, it only means one thing... they want the passport. Yes, they cry easily, yes they are far more emotionally available than any man in the States, yes, they NEED you... it's all very convincing. You are not the first to be caught up and involved like this.

    My advice is to disconnect the internet in your home and get a new phone number. He will find a way to get back to you, because you are his only chance of getting out of here. Sad, but unfortunately true.

    By the way, I am not a bitter or scorned expat. I'm an American Christian who moved here to be with an Egyptian man. Things have been bumpy, to say the least, but I'm ok. I'm coming up on one year of being in Egypt and I'm in a different place emotionally and mentally than I was a year ago. Egypt, let alone an Egyptian man, is no joke.

    ReplyDelete
  12. salam dear anonymous married and living in Alexandria
    May Allah swt guide you dear sister
    how are you today
    you may respond and we may be friends if you like inshallah

    ReplyDelete
  13. dear sister in alexandria
    read AlQuran and you will find answers you seek
    husbands must stay to AlQuran and if you seek to do dawah or have job in childrens school maybe husband would permit this if he drives you or family
    also am american and understand fully rights of husband and wife in islam
    please take time and make duas
    It sounds as you love husband and he loves you all for sake of Allah swt
    this is how husbands are for as wives we are treasured
    he is protecting you by wanting you home
    he worries for you
    please learn quran and in learning you will truly understand husband more
    here is a good site also to learn from
    www.kalamullah.com
    in all parts of the world all live different ways
    Islam is truly the best
    to please Allah swt
    can you talk to family on skype or use application called viber on cell, or on computer try it www.viber.com it allows free calls all over the world
    learning Islam you will understand all needed and be able to work things out
    inshallah
    Ramadan Kareem dear sister

    ReplyDelete
  14. Dear "very Confused",
    I have already lived this situation u are in. I too am 47 and will be divorced in 2 weeks from an Egyptian man I was married to for over 25 years, with 3 adult kids and 1 granddaughter. In 2009 I met a much younger Egyptian man online and got swept up in a romance and left my family and lived in cairo,which I already knew well from being there with my spouse, with the 20 yr old man. I would tell u, dont make the same mistake I did. Its been hard on everyone, and I live now with so much guilt. I had a good egyptian husband in the states and I let a young hot talking dude carry me away. I lived with him for 8 months in Cairo and just returned from a 2 week vacation with him there. Now, I am torn, cuz I do love them both, but if I could do it over again, I would have never started the internet relationship thing with this young man. Its destroyed my marriage, thank God my kids have been very understanding adults, but I know I let them all down. And now I love someone I know I cant have forever, and I still have love for the older man I left behind. I would say drop it now, before it gets too deep. Its gonna cause nothing but heartaches all around. I had experience with Egypt and its culture for most of my life, its not easy at all for american women to adapt there. This culture is nothing like u are used to in the states. I love my Egyptian family, but I let "lust" ruin it and I wish I could get this younger man out of my heart, but its too late now for me and Im gonna pay a heavy price for my mistakes. Please think about that. I wish u the best.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I have known an egyptian man for 5 years. He is in the military and comes to the states every
    six months, where we were getting together. He got down on his knees and asked me to marry him.
    Who can resist a hot tan beefcake? Later I explored the internet,finding him with profiles on date sights.Half of our conversations were about how he was in financial trouble. Later he got cold and just treated me bad mentally. Finally in a round about kind of way told me he was sorry but I could keep the phony
    diamond ring he gave me. It hurt but I got over it. 2 1/2 yrs later he decides to call me to meet him as he is back in the states. Later we began the internet thingy again. He says he is asking to leave the airforce and wants to be with me. I am shocked and feeling euphoric.
    Again he starts talking about financial problems. He tells me he only gets paid 400$ a month in his position as a colonel in the airforce. Btw he has ignored my request to take his dating sites profile down. He justifies this
    by saying he never goes to them. Little does he know that the sites show last visit of the profiler. Lies. What would you do? I told him
    to keep his profile up and eventually he would find a sucker to bring him here. Like the song says " I hate myself for loving you". I believes he thinks I am not capable of having common sense, Like he has a spell over me. God help me he does. I don't know the process of
    bringing him here but it appears to be long
    and costly. Maybe God's way of protecting me because I barely have enough money to help myself.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I was married to an Egyptian man don't be fooled by they're so sweet romance novel behavior it will all change once you say I DO...and you will be I DID quick!!!I was so swept off my feet in love and I just left my home town where I first met him an he transfer to go to College an I joined him.. once I was there with him and 800 miles from my family Life changed so fast between us and the all the love turn to emotional an physical abuse an no matter what you do it will not stop because they have very violent personality over they're wife my husband allowed me to work but he was all in control of the money I made...Please don't be fooled like I was they are for sure good lovers an smooth talkers and they are very abusive trust me been there done that an its hell to escape from such!!! Because they think they owned you once you say I do!!!so Please say you don't Take Care

    ReplyDelete
  17. I am married to an Egyptian man and we have a son. I lived with him and his family in Egypt for 6 months then came back to Australia to get ready for the birth of our son. We met online I was 34 he has 25. I thought in him I had found a soul mate, a person to share the rest of my life with....I was wrong. As soon as he got to Australia on a spousal visa (we married in Egypt) he started cheating on me- online profiles in tagged. He lied saying he was getting email addresses of other women for his friend. I was 8 months pregnant. I put it behind me for the sake of the baby. Later that year I was still untrusting of him and we went to marriage counselling. Since then he has cheated on me at every opportunity but still maintaining what seemed a normal married life, we were intimate etc but he never too me and our son anywhere. In Egypt be held my hand wherever we went but here no did not like to do it also did not wear a wedding ring. He has slept with 2 women that I know of and I believe there are many mire. He has profiles on just about every site imaginable and he gave me an STI. My advice to any women thinking about marrying an egyptian man-don't do it. I am still crying everyday. He sends SMS saying he loves me- he only loved my support, money, shelter, food whilst he had fun in his life. It's not worth the heartache no matter how nicely they treat you and you think- wow a man who truly respects women- they don't.

    ReplyDelete
  18. my story is a little differant but it does involve a Egyptian man and also confusion on my part, a couple of months ago i met an egyptian an online, im 28 and from ireland btw, i met my Egyptian man on a site where many people rp, one of the rp's i was involved in and still am was a rp known as gorean it is controversial and not many like what it is, basically i am a slave girl in the gorean rp, i rp as a slave girl Amurea, my Master is the Egyptian man i have met our rp however has spilled over into my real life we speak every day and talk over phone also, he says i am a gift from heaven and very precious to him, he says he loves his girl and needs her also, i am not so foolish to fall for the words of a smooth talker but i do care for this man, my friends however have been warning me that i should leave, these are friends who rp on this site and have seen his ways and such, it is of there opinion that he treats me as a muslim wife and not that of the slave girl, the problem for me is treatment in both instances seem to be very similar how do i differantriate between the both, he wants me to visit him in Egypt during the summer for 1 month, he says i do or will not need money as i will be with him, as his slave and he my Master ((in rp)) he has asked me to do things for him in real life, i recently had my nose pierced for him and had to send pictures, he would not see me nor speak with me until i had this done,i must also ask permission if i am out later than 10pm, amoung other restrictions, but my confusion is, are these the restrictions of a slave as part of our rp? or are they his restrictions to me as part of is religion and his ways?? i have no problem with his religion to be honest i know very little of it, i am catholic but i do not practice it i am open to learning a new religion but only if i believe it, my Master ((egyptian guy)) is very dominant this i know but i am loyal to him and i care for him dearly, i love spending time with him but the friends who seem to always have something to say or stories to tell have put doubt in my mind, i would love to go meet him some time but i am a little scared of going there for 1 month i know so little of the custom and ways, i had tried to talk with him and question him on travelling there, and staying within his home for 1 month is this not against his religion to have a western women stay under his roof without marriage?? when i asked him he got angry and told me it was something that did not concern me, i was not to ask?? could someone please give me advice i would very much appreciate it
    thanking you
    god bless
    Sharon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My advice to you is to listen to your friends. First off it is not proper for you to stay at the home of a Muslim man that is not your husband, or of man that is one you can marry. This is the Islamic way. On another note, if he is getting mad at you for asking about this, that should be the first sign of how he will be with you. Also, if he is trying to control you and what you do to your body now, he will be alot worse when and if you go to him in Egypt.
      I am married to a man from the Middle East, I was half lucky with my husband --- we were married for 2 1/2 years before he walked out on me and his step-children. He is from Palestine and was here for 3 years before we married, but he still needed his green card. I married for love, he married for citizenship. Dont get me wrong we are excellent friends to this day but I still wish I took it slower with him and got to know the real reasons behind everything. I also recently converted to Islam for myself, and now he wishes he hadnt done what he did to me.
      I am friends with men from Egypt as well as other Middle Eastern countries, and I can honestly agree they sweet talk and win your heart but beware of who they really are. You can tell exactly what kind of person they are by the way they act and talk to you after a little bit of knowing them. About 33% right off the bat only want sex, another 33% want citizenship, and the last 34% are actually genuine and want marriage and family. For example, I have a friend from Saudi Arabia that mostly wants sex, but also wants me to live there with him. I have two friends that live in Egypt, both want to marry but the one constantly brings up immigration and coming here to the US which tells me he is in it mostly for citizenship, but he also is now trying to change things about me and control different things in my life from a far. He is trying to tell me I have to remove my tattoo, he is trying to dictate to me about my dog and mostly always wants to know about my ex-husband. Where as the other one, wants to marry and wants me to live in Egypt with him, and has no problem with me traveling back and forth to the states for my children, and if they want to go there, he is ok with that also. I am allowed to work, go out and do what I want to do. He does not want to come here to the US unless I want him to or I am ready for him to. He also accepts me for me and does not want me to change. These are the types of men you will find everywhere but more so in the Middle East, So please be aware and careful.

      Delete
  19. i am a 31 years old girl and married to an Egyptian man and we are really living happy , the guy is wonderful and the country is good to live in as no gay marriage or a high crime rate . :))

    ReplyDelete
  20. I have known an Egyptian man for almost ten years now. We met online and have skyped but never met in person. He has sent me diamond rings, Seiko watches, beautiful boquets of flowers and we have been as intimate as we can be for being an ocean apart. He says he wants to marry me and I want to believe him. He apparently cannot get a visa easily and wants me to come there. I have two younger boys and would only go for a visit. Any suggestions as to if he's for real?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DON"T DO IT!!!!!!! I'm married to one and you stay in the US with your boys. Find a nice American to marry and don't get involved!!!!! This will not work out as I'm living it here in the US. They are great salesmen and say all sorts of shit. You'll be stuck in a foreign country with your two boys and you'll have to deal with anything. DO NOT put your boys into this situation. Your first thought is of them..... their safety, education and upbringing. You should think of your love life when they are grown. DO NOT DO THIS!!!!!!! I'm proof you will be unhappy and wish you had listened.

      Delete
  21. i Have talked to an Egyptian man for 2 years online before i went there to be with him in April. the relationship was going good he treated me so wonderful. it was the best relationship i have ever been in. we exchanged wedding rings and took a lot of pictures. i stayed with him for 25 days. he cooked and took me out. we was the perfect married couple. even though he already had a wife with 2 kids . i have to say he was very truthful about everything. from day 1. i also have talked to his mom via web cam talked to his sister, and brother. and most if not all his friends.i met his cousin and he took me to his job. i cant really say that he has done anything bad. now i did excprience the dating sites that i told him about but he at the time did remove them. he is a body guard in Sharm. i do have kids of my own. and as i said i feel in love with this man . the only thing is that i came back to the states and things started to change. he was not mean or anything but i happend to go on his facebook and seen that he had another one . i knew this but at the time the mind plays tricks on you. because i knew it was him talking to other woman. and me being sick that day i went to the hospital and they gave me some really good meds. as i came home i happend to look at the facebook and seen nothing but woman. and i called him and flipped out. now he dont like when i accuse him or say bad words to him. but that day was bad because now we dont talk. i dont know why he could not forgive me but it was something that small that destroyed something so good. or could it have been an excuse to let me go. FACEBOOK IS TROUBLE. BECAUSE WHEN I WENT BACK TO LOOK AT IT IT HAD ALL HIS FRIENDS THAT WORKED AT HIS JOB. now i do cry i will be woman enough to admit that. because when you been in nothing but bad relationships and then you Pray to God that he sends you that one man that will love you and protect you it gets scary because all i knew is that men play games and hurt woman. Now i am out of a good man. his name is tattooed on my chest and there it will remain. i just can't forget his smiles and his touch. i know he didnt use me because he took care of me. there is nothing i dont know about him. ladies we just can't help who we fall in love with. but yes there are bad men out there but then there are good ones. in my case he was good. but if he loved me why would he really just throw it all away over a simple arguement. and in his diffence i chewed him out. but in my deffence i was the woman that if you needed me i was there 100%.. mentally, spritually,and yes i have to correct something i did help take care of the family when all that stuff happend in egypt but thats what i do. i help those as God would want me to do.. i feel 1 day he may call but i only want him to call when he gets his life right and if he divorced the other woman. because i felt bad knowing if this woman thought her husband was working and he was out there with me. and i am only saying this because he said they was getting a divorce. Now even though i consider him my husband i feel he maybe doing me wrong and was not man enough to just tell me. but i wish him no harm and may God forgive both of us for our sins.

    ReplyDelete
  22. 6 years ago I met the man I totally love. From day one he saw me, he was asking info to my co-workers about me. I tried not to cross paths and meet him, but his interest for me was stronger. We started talking and today we have 5 years in relationship. The problem with this is that he's married, but he says was keeping this relationship because his religion and his kids. Other people have spoken highly of him, but I have not heard anything good from his wife. On several occasions during this time I talked with him that I don't wants him to break his marriage, but he wants to marriage with me.
    Several months ago I decided to end this relationship for good. He has done everything possible to communicate and see me. Even sending me email via my work and personal email telling me how much he loves me and he took time to meditated with God and definitely wants to marry me. He says, I am a very good woman and I have been patient for so many years and had never felt this love so strong for anyone.
    I told him, pls do not destroy their marriage by their cultural beliefs, his religion. But he insists to leave everything in his hands and he would find a solution, because he loves me and is willing to share my culture too.
    Let me clarified this relationship is not for the interest of U.S. documents or for money. He is legally in U.S. and has a good job. I am totally available to respect and share his culture and his Christian religion, because I love him too.
    My apologize if I offended any person.
    Please I would like your respectable opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  23. 6 years ago I met the man I totally love. From day one he saw me, he was asking info to my co-workers about me. I tried not to cross paths and meet him, but his interest for me was stronger. We started talking and today we have 5 years in relationship. The problem with this is that he's married, but he says was keeping this relationship because his religion and his kids. Other people have spoken highly of him, but I have not heard anything good from his wife. On several occasions during this time I talked with him that I don't wants him to break his marriage, but he wants to marriage with me.
    Several months ago I decided to end this relationship for good. He has done everything possible to communicate and see me. Even sending me email via my work and personal email telling me how much he loves me and he took time to meditated with God and definitely wants to marry me. He says, I am a very good woman and I have been patient for so many years and had never felt this love so strong for anyone.
    I told him, pls do not destroy their marriage by their cultural beliefs, his religion. But he insists to leave everything in his hands and he would find a solution, because he loves me and is willing to share my culture too.
    Let me clarified this relationship is not for the interest of U.S. documents or for money. He is legally in U.S. and has a good job. I am totally available to respect and share his culture and his Christian religion, because I love him too.
    My apologize if I offended any person.
    Please I would like your respectable opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I have experience about egyptian men 5 month ago. He is youger than 20 years but I look beautiful and yong all of body like him. He is very nice all of body and good education. I meet him in online and talk each other every day but we never tell 'love or like you" or agree as boyfriend or girlsfriend. this is problem when we missunderstand anymatter we cannot manage relation clearly. I feel bad I never ask him although he will express something.I am culture that women cannot express before men will express. howver, he want to come my coutry to work and show he want met me as well. today, he make me regret he love a girl 5 years and she will marry. although I feel he lie or make story because paradrox of event but he destroy relation between us (and previously he dream marry with me in his home that I feel good and make better relation). I am egocentric person I feel bad and how don'tknow to run relation with him. I feel he may regret that I delay him come my country because he have no moeny becaue he is unemployed now. I expect comment exactly (I am asia and buddist)

    ReplyDelete
  25. I have experience about egyptian men 5 month ago. He is youger than 20 years but I look beautiful and yong all of body like him. He is very nice all of body and good education. I meet him in online and talk each other every day but we never tell 'love or like you" or agree as boyfriend or girlsfriend. this is problem when we missunderstand anymatter we cannot manage relation clearly. I feel bad I never ask him although he will express something.I am culture that women cannot express before men will express. howver, he want to come my coutry to work and show he want met me as well. today, he make me regret he love a girl 5 years and she will marry. although I feel he lie or make story because paradrox of event but he destroy relation between us (and previously he dream marry with me in his home that I feel good and make better relation). I am egocentric person I feel bad and how don'tknow to run relation with him. I feel he may regret that I delay him come my country because he have no moeny becaue he is unemployed now. I expect comment exactly (I am asia and buddist)

    ReplyDelete
  26. I have experience about egyptian men 5 month ago. He is youger than 20 years but I look beautiful and yong all of body like him. He is very nice all of body and good education. I meet him in online and talk each other every day but we never tell 'love or like you" or agree as boyfriend or girlsfriend. this is problem when we missunderstand anymatter we cannot manage relation clearly. I feel bad I never ask him although he will express something.I am culture that women cannot express before men will express. howver, he want to come my coutry to work and show he want met me as well. today, he make me regret he love a girl 5 years and she will marry. although I feel he lie or make story because paradrox of event but he destroy relation between us (and previously he dream marry with me in his home that I feel good and make better relation). I am egocentric person I feel bad and how don'tknow to run relation with him. I feel he may regret that I delay him come my country because he have no moeny becaue he is unemployed now. I expect comment exactly (I am asia and buddist)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hello Ladies
    I am so touched by your stories, I can't tell. I got also cheated by an young, handsome, succesfull Egyptian man, who always knew the right thing to say. He seemed so smart and good hearted.I did everything for him.

    Egyptian man can talk impressively. They are masters of words. And they can make their sensitivity work for them so well. They are super dangerous because Western women think it is their nice, caring personality. No, it's not! They can cry when the want to! They do the perfect show for you! They are interfiring into everything, the don't respect your personal decisions. They want to contol everything. Keep away from them. They want white girls, they want money and they want to live in the West. At the same time they want to please their family.How can someone like that be a good partner to you?

    Dear sisters, forget about Egyptian men!! Look out for someone around who if fine with his life and wants YOU for WHO YOU ARE, not because you are white and live in the West.

    These online relations are not for real. Even being with an Egyptian man for some month is not making you realize how being his wife would like. They are fighting so hard to get a white girl, they can do it for years from afar and for month when you are with them. You are impressed by his effort? All the hours, all the presents? He has an aim: a Western women.

    When you realize one day, all what he did, all that ment so much to you, was for getting something, it is just so sad.

    M.

    ReplyDelete
  28. hello im considering marrying an egyptian man, im a young american woman.should i be worried baecause all these comments tend to worry me a bit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will give you my email n give you the best advice I can I've been married to an egyptian for 3 years and living in egypt my email is jusasiam19@hotmail.com

      Delete
  29. hello im thinking of marrying an egyptian man, is this good or bad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello, I was never married to an Egyptian man but I did have a 16 year "affair" with one. I was in a very abusive marriage that I finally got out of 10 years ago. The Egyptian man I was involved with had a wife (that did not understand him, great excuse huh?) and children. I was loving, patient, caring, and pretty much at his beck and call. His reason for staying in this "loveless marriage" as he called it was for the children. Well I put my life on hold, he told me that one day we would be together and have "our" life together. Yeah right, I know you are probably thinking what is wrong with this woman, I was in love with him. According to him I was a wonderful woman his confidant, lover, best friend, and support system. Guess what? According to him he divorced his wife, went on vacation a year ago to visit his parents in Egypt and became engaged to, you guessed it, a muslim woman. Although I believe he is actually married to her and possibly has a child or child on the way. My point is up until he went a year ago, everything seemed normal for us, I was still seeing him, he was still telling me he loved me, still pretending everything was alright. Even since his "engagement" we have been together, so I must ask myself "Would I really want to be his fiance/ wife in Egypt?" he is here sleeping with me! I have decided that enough is enough and it is a done deal he is out of my life, I am moving on with or without a man but I cannot play his games anymore. This particular Egyptian man made so many promises, excuses and lies, he was a very smiling, personable man with alot of charisma. Please be careful, you do not want to wake up one day like myself and realize 16 years of your life has gone bye. Good Luck

      Delete
  30. I am an American who has been married to an Egyptian for the past 3 years. I have lived in Egypt for over a year. Our marriage has been rockey to say the least but if anyone is needing advice or wanting to share stories you can e mail me at crazy4yall84@aol.com

    LOVE this blog btw! Totally agree!!

    ReplyDelete