Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Forget about Baloon Boy - America's next REALITY SHOW STAR is the HeHeHe Woman!

EDIT: This post has been updated to include links to the videos of various events sited. If you have the time, you will enjoy this post even more if you click on all the links and watch them. Read it through one time first, then go back and watch all the links. And remember - We watched all 69 episodes so you wouldn't have to!


Disclaimer: I am not by any means making fun of this woman. I actually enjoyed her movie and thought it would be fun to give it an actual "review".

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What would you do if you had been in Egypt for 3 weeks, had only 8 days left, an endless supply of battery power for your video camera, and your children were back in the US? Well, you would do what Aisha Hossam did and film your every waking moment for the duration of your trip. The result would be a 69 part documentary uploaded to YouTube in increments ranging from 17 seconds to 9 minutes and some odd seconds. Very odd seconds. "A Trip to Egypt an American's Point of View" is the title of this masterpiece and my husband and I sat through the entire saga in what turned out to be a seven hour marathon session complete with 4 cups of coffee and 2 bowls of popcorn. Anyone who has ever sat through Schindler's List, Reds, or the Green Mile can tell you that it's not as bad as it sounds. Or is it?

If the jerky strobe cam does not make you feel like vomiting after the first 3 episodes, every other minute or so Aisha unleashes a shrill laugh that is a cross between Fran Drescher and Beavis and Butthead. Seriously, this girl cracks herself up over everything. Even sexual harassment and hymen restoration surgery are laughable topics for her. There is no script here just fantastic ad-libbing skills with very little dead air time. Aisha effortlessly coaches her supporting cast Ahmed, and uncle Nabil from Sweden through their dialogue with prompts such as "Say Hi. Say Hi again. Say bye. Say bye again. Say hi to America." She often talks directly to the camera addressing her children - an approach that not only gives the film a documentary feel, but engages the viewer. The banter is so mind numbing that when she falls down the stairs in Episode 25 you find yourself breaking out into an inappropriate hysterical laughter. Interestingly enough it is the only point in the movie where Aisha herself, does not laugh. She is a lovable, jubilant, perpetually perky woman (who I pray I never have to sit next to on a Transatlantic flight).

Despite a slow start, the movie slowly but surely sucks you in like a vortex and makes you care about the characters. Aisha guides us play by play on a tour of Cairo including a trip to the Mogamma building, the the airport to pick up Uncle Nabil from Sweden, and the telephone office. Along the way she imparts pearls of wisdom such as:

- The buildings are older than my great-grandfather.
- The whole country of Egypt is nothing but a big desert with some buildings and trees added.
- Big boats come into the Suez Canal and make waves.
- The buildings are made of stone, the pillars are made of stone and the streets are made of cobblestone. So if there is a fire it would be ok.

As the days progress and her time in Egypt winds down, we will ride a micro bus with Aisha to Ismailia where she will convince her co-stars to take off their clothes and run into the Suez Canal (what she thinks is the Mediterranean Sea) in March. In the most daring and dramatic move in the film, Aisha removes her higab and abaya and runs into the water fully clothed. She then proceeds to make sand angels and bury herself up to the neck all while worrying about being drowned by one of the big waves. Afterwards, the entire cast winds up in a club where they chow down on Koshery and Aisha poignantly observes that "everywhere I look I see Lipton Tea".

As the end approaches and her last day in Egypt is upon her, the emotion increases to climactic levels as our characters fight to repress the tears as they prepare to say good-bye to each other. An in-depth discussion about public beheadings and Sharia Law in the final few minutes of the film seems grossly misplaced and anti-climactic. The ending was a sweet, touching and sincere good-bye delivered beautifully by Ahmed. However, I found it to be a bit abrupt leaving us wondering what happened when she got to the airport - perhaps leaving the door open for a sequel. I would have liked to have seen her off at the airport with the leading man waving as she passed through the metal detectors.

Despite the frequent outbursts of hysterical laughter from our hero, there are several genuinely laughable moments in the film like when she says her name wrong and states on more than one occasion that she travelled 4,000 miles from the US to get to Egypt (this would have put her somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic). Uncle Nabil's character makes an appearance late in the film and although he does not have much screen time, he has impeccable comedic timing and animated responses that make you wish he was in more scenes. His broad range of acting abilities were further demonstrated when he was called upon to play the straight man in the scene in the coffee shop downtown where he gets Aisha to open up about the real reasons she came to Egypt.

Throughout the film there are strategically placed moments where Aisha declares that "this is why I don't want to live in America anymore". One such moment was in a small park in Cairo where she looked around then declared matter of factly that "there is nothing as beautiful as this place in America". Although she claims to be well travelled (even revealing some of the destinations at the end) she often appears provincial and overly obsessed with re-enacting scenes from Titanic.

All in all the movie delivers what it promises in the title: a trip to Egypt an American's point of view. If nothing else it gives you a real time glimpse into life in Egypt. When you start watching though make the coffee and popcorn first. Once you start you won't be able to stop.

Part 1 of 69 appears below. To continue viewing please go the Aisha's YouTube Channel and click on "view all" for her video uploads then scroll all the way down to the bottom.


17 comments:

  1. You miss the whole point of this saga. She is filming the intimate details of her life with her toyboy so that she can convince the government to give him a visa. Watch the main video on her page. Love the extra touch of her declaring she would never cheat on Hossam in her YouTube profile. He's probably really paranoid she will find another toyboy to get a visa for besides him.

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  2. Yes, of course. Only Hossam was not yet in the picture during the production of this film. She continually calls herself "Aisha Ahmed" during this film, then conveniently changes to "Aisha Hossam" during subsequent movies.

    And yes, that declaration of undying love and eternal monogamy was a nice touch.

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  3. Oh no! Another sweet face visa hunter. I do not know how this woman do not realize about it, love make us funny blind. The woman looks like his mother and it is obvious he is after the green card. I wonder how long they will be together after he reaches USA. Any bet??? Sad sad sad

    Masriya22

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  4. His name is Hossam Ahmed. Could that explain the name confusion?

    The scary part is them on the beach. Check out her tatoos! It would be hilarious if someone copied that video and then dubbed over the soundtrack with Bolero!

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  5. Oh God, just noticed in 69 that she mentions her first husband, a Palestinian named Nabil. She's obviously one of those serial Arab-marrying types!

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  6. I noticed Ahmed the name of her current husband as well. But at the time these videos were made there is no mention or sight of her current husband. So I am assuming she was not married to him yet - or did not even know him yet. I'm thinking if she had an Egyptian husband or boyfriend at the time surely he would have been at least talked about in one of the 69 videos. He can be seen in other videos on her YouTube. So it looks like the "mini-series" was made during her first visit to Egypt.

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  7. At Masriya 22 - The sad part here is her beautiful children. Look at them on some of the other videos saying "I love you daddy". Of course we all know how this will most likely end up...but those poor kids. They don't deserve to be hurt. It's obvious she loves her children too. It's too bad she can't see what we see.

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  8. I got the impression that they were engaged at that time and that she was trying for the fiance visa for him.

    I get so angry when I see women allowing Muslim men to play daddy. I'm a Muslim myself, but there is a good reason that women who remarry are supposed to give up custody to the father in Islam: stepdads are bad for children. I've seen other women who put their children in bad situations by remarrying Muslim men who didn't know their boundaries or who made lousy role models.

    Stepfathers should never be called "daddy." She talks about getting a visa so they can be together with THEIR children. They are not his children and they will never be!

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  9. She was not involved with the guy who is with her in the video series "a trip to Egypt an
    American point of view". The guy she eventually married is a different one who can be seen on other videos on her YouTube.

    I agree that is is sad the kids call him daddy. From an American perspective of "stepfather" these kids will be hurt because this guy is 1) still a boy himself, 2) will never step up to the plate and be a father to these kids.

    A stepfather is one who has been married to the mother and acts as the child's father. This guy has never met these kids other than on webcam. He does not deserve to be called daddy.

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  10. first off im aisha hossam and i want to say her review was wonderful,. but for all of you, you have no idea what my husband does for the children, second i was not married to hossam when i was in egypt on the first trip nor engaged, this is my friend ahmed and his family invited me to cairo ok? and tell me what does a dad do for his kids, support them financially,, keeps up on thier school work? invoved with teacher confrences, drs appointments, counsels them when thier sadd, laughs with them when thier happy.. and as far as the consulate goes, she will never see the videos u moroons they only look at photographs, and to judge all men cause of some bad ones from a country is crazy,,, think of my ex husband, american man,, beat me for years, hated children,, am i to say all american men beat thier wifes? i met whores in my country also , am i to say all american women are whores? of course not cause i cant say that and judge a wholen country cause of someone bad,i went back to egypt 2 months after this trip and yues i got videos of it, and this is when i met my husband, we been together for 3 years, count them ,1,2,3, and we are still together, i been to egypt several times not just 2 times,my husband financially supports me,, emotionally supports me and if all he wanted was the visa,, he wouldnt have to wait no 3 damm years on me, he could just find someone and do it be in usa in less than a year ok? but its not about that,we knew eachother 2 yearsssssssssssssssssssss befor we married,,,,, get that in ur thick headfs, it isnt like we met, married in 1 month then applied for the visa,do not judge my family till u have talked to us, its wrong, hurtful and downright cruel,dont act like a child, oh and btw,,, on the latest updates, my kids and i spend the past summer with my husband in cairo,, 3 months and we loved it ,the only reason im still in usa is well,.the kids love it here more, my health care is excellent here, and my family is here,we can go to egypt and live, get on a plane next week and go, but we dont want this,i dont and the kids dont, i want our children to have great education, good job and be with thier family here in my country!!!!!!!!!!1me and myhusband argued in this till i won!now put all that in ur pipe and smoke it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  11. Suggesting that all Muslim men are lousy step fathers is very racist. And who is to say that if the child is given to the father that the woman he later marries will treat the children with respect and love? It's too individual to place stereotypes such as these.

    As for the blog, Thanks for the good laugh. Perhaps I can take the time to see all of the videos.

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  12. Dear gawd that was hard to read. If you add a bunch of s's onto the end of "years," does that mean they were, like, really long "years" or something? Were they 378-day years? Or maybe Mayan calendar years?

    What is a "wholen country?" Is that like a "whole" country with a reach-around? Just wondering.

    Also, I think when you typed ",,,,,,,," you really meant to type elipses (these thingys: ...) I know you have to stretch your fingers all the way over to one extra key, but there's a bonus if you do: you only have to type 3 elipses instead of 11 or 8 or whatever the hell number of commas you keep typing when you mean elipses. And while we're on the subject of elipses, you should know that 1/3 of an elipse is called a period. It ends a sentence. It allows the reader to pause, take a breath, and then continue following your thought. They're awesome, try them sometime.

    But basically, because you couldn't be bothered to compose a reply even close to a grammatically cohesive argument, you look completely stupid. Hey, everyone makes mistake, I'm not talking about University level stuff here, but if you'd just tried to make a little itty-bitty effort, you wouldn't have come across as insane. As it is, I can't tell if I agree with you or not because your post is completely unreadable.

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  13. She is just upset Xom - give her a break.

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  14. Let me tell you something Aisha. If you can go visit some strange man (good Muslim girls don't have male friends they go visit) and stay together with him like that and post videos of staying with him and crying about leaving him AND then meet another guy and marry him and he doesn't have a problem about your past, then he IS after you for the visa. You were cavorting with Ahmed on the beach looking like trailer trash and posted it online and then met some other guy who agreed to marry you? A man who really wanted a woman for herself would care about the bad impression you give about yourself with those videos and would refuse you. These guys have patience and 3 years is nothing compared to a lifetime in the US.

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  15. Very well written, great blog entry! I LOL'ed!

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  16. its me aishah hosam , my husbands in the usa now has permanent residence and guess what... he hasnt left me, hes working and going to school,. got me a car and im relaxing in our homethat he buy for us befor he cme to usa, he can leave anytime he wants and he hasnt, why are all u people so judgemental , its insane really

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  17. Aisha you are such a liar OMG Look at yourself..Your not a muslim..And if you are your a disgraceful one. You went in the sea took off your hejab and abaja..and you force your kids to say I love you Daddy...this is so sickning...Nice picks on PHOTO BUCKET....REALLY SICKNING ...YOUR NAME IS NOT AISHA..WHATS YOUR REAL NAME? YOU WANT TO PUT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LIFE ON THE NET BE HONEST !!!!! YOUR SUCH A LOSER !!! AND A DESGRACE...BY THE WAY I KNOW YOU VERY WELL..AND YOU HAVE SO MANY KIDS WITH ALL DIFFERENT MEN...

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